King of the Hill

My suicide was fake, so that you would think I was dead. Then in the morgue, I wake up from my sleep and break your neck while you are sleeping

My hill

While you are sitting on a chair in your hill an alien ship abducts you so ur in space
My hill

I ally with the aliens and they decide to give me control of the Earth so they don't have to use their weapons destroying it. I tell them I will on one condition, they get me the hill and put it somewhere secure so that no one can get it off me. They agree.

My hill

All humans disagree with this so we produce high tech weapons and we smash you and your aliens in your fortress
My hill

The aliens, far more advanced have very good shielding. They turn them onto reflect as the missiles approach and so the missiles bounce of and go straight back to the Earth where all the humans die. Except for me that is in the spaceship with My hill

Well a sorcerer respawns me and I he puts a curse on you that nothing can reflect it back you vanish for 10 days
My hill

I have vanished from the Earth, but live for 10 days in another universe. Where I learn how to time travel and so when I reappear, I build a time machine and repeatedly travel around, finding out a time where the hill is unprotected. I then go and take it in one of these moments and travel into the future with it. Leaving you stuck here, with no hill and no way of getting the hill off me for 100,000 years (which is how far I travelled into the future). I am safe and have the hill and you have no way of getting it back ever.

My hill

Well I wait for 100,000 yrs till your back then we're your back i wear an iron uniform like iron man's one so I smash your bones as your machine you just can heal put no more you can time travel
My hill

100,000 years into the future, there are many advanced weapons. 1 of which I use on you, which breaks through your Iron Man outfit and leaves you in a smouldering heap.

My hill

We stay warring for centuries and all resources are depleted so no techno it's time for hand duel I was well trained in the army so feel like you need to surrender for now
My Hill

I retreat and learn new fighting skills, as well as the art of sneaking. I sneak up behind you and when you realise I'm there, I take you on in a duel. Which I win as you have not fought anyone since we had last met and so yours skills are rusty. You take off your white undies and use them as a flag of surrender.

My hill

I get pissed off so I ask Jet Lii a legion fighter so he beats you up but unluckily he dies after the duel and we hang close to a cliff.
My hill

Jet Li died after I pushed him off the cliff, but he grabbed hold of my leg and so I am hanging off the edge, but have kicked him away. You come to observe what happened and find me. You didn't want me to just fall off when I could not hold on anymore, you wanted to finish me yourself. So you grab a sword and start trying to stab me, unfortunately for you, I grab hold of the end of the sword and while bleeding, haul myself back up using the sword. I now stand on top of the cliff with the sword and you run away because you have no Jet Li and no weapons.

My hill

Well I bring you a stripper and you like her that you run after her then while she's dancing she kicks you down a high valley
My hill

I grab hold of the stripper and we go down the hill together. Yay! Woo!

When we hit the ground it is in a nice bush. We both get up and run off together and get married. She tricks you by beckoning you away from the hill and when you are in the clear, I take off your head with a Sniper Rifle shot.

Our hill

I cry for losing her but I got plan B with smart guys like you who beat me up. So my kids revenge for me and luckily I nodded my head so the shot gashed my ear only. The cops imprison you for 20 yrs for a murder attempt and I buried your wife.
My hill

At my trial I talk about how you organised the kids to revenge you. You get sent to prison for making evil children and assaulting me. We share a cell.

No ones hill

Well then I explain and start fibbing so they believe me and put you in an asylum for 10 yrs and I am free
My hill