King of the Hill

Unfortunately the original hill was made of a harder substance than yours, and so it crumbles as it attempts to crush the hill

I safely sit inside the hill while yours is destroyed

My hill

i bring gigantic tractor so ur hill shakes thinking it's an earthquake so u run for ur life and i merrily sit

The vibrations created by the tractor collapse the hill, and you die in the wreckage. I come back and rebuild the hill

My hill

I land on you with a helicopter you stick like a gum and eventually die
My Hill

My army avenges me and sticks you like gum. They then resurrect me and I restore order to My hill

I bribe Bush to send you to Guantanamo prison as a terrorist and they lock you for 4 decades
My hill

I spend four decades planning my revenge. 40 years later, I have the best plan ever devised and employ it. It is so complicated that I can't even begin to explain it here. At the end of this plan, I have the hill and you have a nice little plot in the local cemetary

My hill

my friend who is a devil will resurrect me and you'll see his real shape you'll feel intimidated that you run for your life barefooted
My Hill

I run to get an angel, who is stronger than a devil and he comes to my rescue, destroying your devil and leaving you undefenseless. You run away and stub your toe. OUCH!

My hill

The angel did you the first and last favor he won't return I gather mil gangster loading heavy weapons when you see them you commit suicide
My hill

My suicide was fake, so that you would think I was dead. Then in the morgue, I wake up from my sleep and break your neck while you are sleeping

My hill

While you are sitting on a chair in your hill an alien ship abducts you so ur in space
My hill

I ally with the aliens and they decide to give me control of the Earth so they don't have to use their weapons destroying it. I tell them I will on one condition, they get me the hill and put it somewhere secure so that no one can get it off me. They agree.

My hill

All humans disagree with this so we produce high tech weapons and we smash you and your aliens in your fortress
My hill

The aliens, far more advanced have very good shielding. They turn them onto reflect as the missiles approach and so the missiles bounce of and go straight back to the Earth where all the humans die. Except for me that is in the spaceship with My hill